I've been feeling like I've been a douchebag an asshole a depressed idiot a person that can't say words, A person that's so stupid and all I'm horrible at school horrible at practically everything, I have no life I'm a loser I've been meaning to tell this to somebody but I've been saving it for a journal, This may seem stupid and I know people's are gonna get mad at me and all, I barely talk to everybody I'm friends with I feel as if I don't have a role to play in this world, I do everything that's wrong and all, I feel like I'm going the wrong path and all and I am just gonna get more and more pain throughout the ways of my life, At this rate I'll just be hitting endless road-blocks, And no please, Just please don't try to tell me to cheer up and all that stuff, I've tried hard enough already, This is just the way I feel do not try to change it and no it's not because of bad luck days, I Have multi-tasking things to do, I need to clear up some things off and on and all, I need to just stop and think about survey and check everything I need to, So yeah don't worry about it, Please don't tell me: "Everybody feels this way too your not the only one:u" Because I already know that, I've been told thousands of times, I've even said it, And I have just about given up on the "facts" I believe from things from time to time, Given up on even trying and all, I give up too easily, I shutdown too easily, Nowadays I just feel like I need to shut myself down and seal in myself, My feelings and emotions were stronger when I sealed myself shut of all the pain I cause and give and get, I am greedy, I am selfish, I rage too god damn easily, I do everything bad without even noticing it until it's too late, To me it's better if I just shut up and not even talk that much about things I shouldn't bring up, Then I forget about the things I shouldn't do and still do it, Yes I know everybody does it, Go ahead. Get mad at me and go ":u" and all those silly expression faces, They just make me feel like I've done bad things X12, I'm venting and people are going to get most likely mad at this, At least a few people might, That's what I think I assume things and sometimes it right, But nowadays it hasn't been anyway near the closest to right, I am currently writing this at 1:15 AM, Can't sleep with so much bad thoughts in my mind, With so much things going on, I gamble my life away, I rely most of my life around luck, And recently throughout this year has been bad luck, Yes I say bad things about myself, And it always gets on people's nerve, I can get on people who are deaf or even Mute's Nerves. I'm a highly annoying person, I'm a whiner, A crybaby, A complainer, And of course I'm a straight out no style all out full time rager of the century. What do you expect from a person who's even scared of love? I feel like I should be even more careful in my life and all, Trying to live it to the fullest is just going to get me killed faster, Trying to be careful and not experience wonders is going to make me feel dead inside, Trying to do both will make me just explode, I barely talk to even all my thousand of friends because I video game alot, I do nothing but game my life away, I ramble on and on and just complain about the simplest things ever, I stupidly talk behind people's back out of rage, I have done so many bad things and all, I apologize and it gets me nowhere, I should stop trying to be sad too much, This made me a bit happier than usual, I've been having massive headaches and all, But I just feel like If I don't do anything about getting on the internet it'll urge me to death even more, Only ever friends I have had is on the internet, I am nowhere as good with real life people at all, I've been raised bad, I've seen things bad, yes I know we all have, You can continue saying that and all, I'm done here. This vent will make a lot of people probably mad at me, But guess what? I don't care. It's happened to me a ton of times, So go ahead, Hate me as if nobody's ever been mad at me, Everybody's been mad at me at one point of meeting me, I'm probably a cursed, A person meant to be foreveralone hehe.....I'm such a fucking piece of shit idiot, It's the truth. I always mess up, This is the end of this journal entry
Journal Vent Entry#1 Of Unbeknown Journals
Started@ 1:06 AM Wed APR 25, 2012 and ended on 1:26 AM
~MidnitetheEevee~
I felt like being fancy, Don't like it? Cool.